


His Majesty, The Prince

by machka



Category: Bandom: The Anthemic, Real Person Fiction, Tulsa Gangstas
Genre: Community: hc_bingo, M/M, Piercings, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-31
Updated: 2010-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-20 05:12:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/machka/pseuds/machka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.' ~ Anonymous</p><p>He did ask for it, after all...</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Majesty, The Prince

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [hc_bingo](http://hc-bingo.livejournal.com/profile/) challenge, using the prompt "Head Trauma."
> 
> Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. The events described therein are not intended to represent actual events. No libel or defamation is intended in posting said fictitious work.
> 
> In other words, it's not real, because I made it all up.

"Oh my God, Neal, stop being such a baby!"

"Says the girl who passed out on the fucking floor..."

"I _told_ you, it was from all that blood..."

"...Kira, you watch vore movies! For _fun!_ "

"But that's all _fake!_ Your blood was real!!"

"Keep your voice down, all right? Don't wanna wake up Andy..."

Groaning quietly, Neal toed off his shoes and dropped his pants to the floor, glaring as Kira made a strangled sound.

"Shhhh, Kira! Andy!" he hissed, seating himself gingerly on the couch as his green-haired companion propped her fists on her hips.

"You're not just gonna sit there like that..."

"No, I'm gonna lie here, like this..." Neal laid back carefully, pulling one of his feet up onto the couch, letting the other leg dangle over the edge. "Go get me a towel from the bathroom, okay? Cuz I ain't takin' another fuckin' step."

Kira shook her head and obliged, returning with the darkest towel she could find. "Here."

"Thanks..." Neal muttered, draping it delicately over his groin as he squinted up at her face. "Really...thanks, Kira. Wouldn't have made it home without you."

Kira shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, okay. Look, are you gonna be all right? Cuz I can stay if y'need me to..."

Neal put on the bravest face he could, though it was so pale as to be nearly translucent at this point. "...Yeah. I'm good, promise... Don't give me that look, Kira, I'll be fine!"

"Okay, then...I'll just be going..." Kira backed slowly out of the apartment, her expression clearly dubious, but Neal was damned if he would give her the satisfaction. Instead, he waved from the couch, giving her a thumbs-up and a toothy smile.

"'Night!" he called out softly as she shut the door.

Neal waited a beat...ten...twenty...and then finally let out the loud moan that had been building up in his throat ever since he'd settled to the couch. Holy fuck, this _hurt!_

Andy's bedroom door creaked open, and the dark-haired man wandered into the living room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he stared down at his pantsless, fair-haired roommate.

"Neal...As much as I appreciate waking up to you half-naked and moaning, somehow I suspect there's more to it tonight than just lust..."

Neal's cheeks flushed a bright scarlet as he nodded.

"So, talk to me, man - what's goin' on?" Andy flopped to the couch beside Neal's drawn up foot, raising an eyebrow at the loud curse that the jostling earned him from Neal's lips. "And what's with th'towel?"

"I, uh...kind of got a piercing," Neal muttered, looking away.

"Another one? Where at?"

Neal hesitated a moment, and then gestured vaguely at the towel across his lap.

"Dude... You didn't." Andy's tone was an unexpected blend of amusement and horror. Neal's only response was a deeper blush, and Andy's mouth gaped as he narrowed his eyes. "Oh my God, you did!"

Andy sat back on the couch, and Neal bit back a shout of pain, gritting his teeth.

"Dude, what on Earth made you think that was a good idea?"

Neal winced slightly at the obvious censure in Andy's voice. "Kira dared me--"

"She _dared_ you."

"...That's what I said, yeah. She dared me to get it done, and she said she'd get her hood pierced after I was finished."

"And did she?"

"...No."

"...Oh, Neal..."

"They wouldn't let her, after she passed out!"

"She passed out? Why?"

"We didn't know it would _bleed_ like this, man! Here, lemme show you..."

"Uh, no, Neal, that's okay, I really don't need to--HOLY FUCKING GOD, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE DONE??"

Neal's voice took on a wounded note. "...It's a reverse Prince Albert..."

"You fucking _paid_ someone t'do that to your dick??"

"Well, yeah... It's s'posed t'feel amazin', man..."

"Does it feel amazing now??"

"Well, no...it hurts like a motherfucker!"

"I hope you don't expect me to kiss it and make it better!"

"Oh, no way, Andy -- dude said no oral for at least a week...What??"

Andy shook his head slowly, backing away. "Dude, I don't think I even know you anymore."

"It's standard for genital piercings, man - no oral, no jerking, no anything for at least a week, and _then_ it's s'posed t'be 'slow, gentle' sex..."

"My God, your balls are gonna be the size of plums, aren't they?"

Neal smiled grimly. "I'm gonna be hair-trigger, that's for sure."

Andy's gaze drifted downwards again, drawn by morbid curiosity to his roommate's bared groin. "Damn, it's still bleeding... Looks pretty uncomfortable..."

Neal nodded. "Yeah. The dude said that cool compresses would help, 'n stuff..."

Andy's face brightened. "That I can help with. Don't go anywhere, okay?"

"Very fuckin' funny," Neal grumbled, swallowing a whimper as Andy bounced off the couch. He could hear Andy rustling around in the freezer, and then his footsteps returning shortly thereafter.

"All right, here we go..." Andy said cheerfully, shaking out a dishtowel to wrap around an almost-too-familiar object.

"Dude, I am not wearing...wait a minute, is that the same bag of peas from when I cut my hand?"

"....Maybe?"

"Dude! Gross! That's fuckin' sick!"

Andy rolled his eyes impatiently. "This from a guy who's gonna be pissing out of two holes in his dick..."

"That's a _regular_ Prince Albert, asshole!"

"Look, you want this or not?" Andy gestured with the makeshift 'cold pack.'

"I don't want your peas on my peen, Peas!"

"Oh, God, why the fuck not?"

"...Because they're cold."

"That's the whole fucking point!" Andy exploded. "And when your dickhead is swollen to the size of an apple, _dickhead,_ you're gonna be beggin' me for these peas!" Scowling and setting his jaw, he flopped back to his spot on the couch, dropping the peas to the cushion beside him as he crossed his arms.

A few minutes passed in uncomfortable silence, with Andy fighting to keep his irritation under control, and Neal shifting minutely, trying to find some kind of relief. Replacing the bath towel, Neal let out a soft, whimpering breath.

"...Andy?"

"...Yeah."

"...C'nIpl'zhaveth'p's?"

"Sorry, I didn't catch that..."

Neal sighed. "Can I please. Have. The peas?"

"Why, of course you can!" Andy replied cheerily, picking up the bag and tossing it from hand to hand with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Allow me!"

Neal swallowed thickly and closed his eyes as Andy brought his hands down...

...And gently, almost tenderly, positioned the cold pack across Neal's groin.

"There you go," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the inside of Neal's knee.

"...Uh...Thanks...?"

"You're very welcome, you crazy son of a bitch."


End file.
